I haven't blogged in a while (since August) because too many overwhelming things have occurred since last time.
Flashback to last semester:
After thinking that I finally figured out how to study correctly in medical school (got an A on my first neuropractical and a B on my neuro exam) I bombed my second mini in Block 2, thereby leaving all hopes of matriculating to semester 3 impinging on my final exam. Ironically I Also earned a B on my 3rd exam of the semester. Going into the final with 2 Bs and one F (still can't believe it was physically possible for me to perform so poorly), I had high hopes that if I dug my heels in and studied my a$$ off I would pull through. Surely right? I mean, I've seen so many students just barely make it through and I already had two good grades to take care of 2/3rds of the final exam, all I needed to worry about was doing well enough on one part.
Alas, I forgot, when has life Ever been that easy for me?
So after an intensely depressing 2 week "break" in which I spent every waking minute (not sleeping) figuring out my future...I decided to come back to Ross being the masochist that I am, to repeat semester 2. Part of this decision comes from the support I received from a family friend whose son also went to a foreign med school.
Although he himself was a protegy in India and works as a pediatric neurologist in Texas, his son was less than qualified to attend medical school. I think his experience with his son has made him more understanding of how many students struggle through this process. In any case, he told me to "keep my head high", go back to Ross, repeat, and don't look back...he told me something that I continually remind myself and will in the future: "that is how the medical profession is, only people in the profession can understand...sometimes you don't go forward, sometimes you go laterally, it happens to everyone at some point in time."
He basically meant, "You may have to repeat one semeter now, but others will encounter similar road blocks in the future, in residency, in practice, etc."
He also reminded me that while my parents have tried their best to support me through this process, they are in a different profession so they can't quite understand what I am going through. This made me feel a lot better because I have always relied heavily on my parents' and even my brother's experiences to make decisions about my own life.
Suddenly I see that I have chosen a completely unique path from theirs, and I will be figuring all of this out on my own. It's terrifying but I guess some one in the family has to lead the way in this profession right?
During this repeat semester, in which I have already performed well, earned 2 A's and one high B on my exams, I am realizing a few keys things: I need to stop being too hard on myself (this is the most deleterious aspect of my personality) and I need to stop comparing myself/my "path" if you will, to others.
Much easier said than done, but I have to try!
More later...
Flashback to last semester:
After thinking that I finally figured out how to study correctly in medical school (got an A on my first neuropractical and a B on my neuro exam) I bombed my second mini in Block 2, thereby leaving all hopes of matriculating to semester 3 impinging on my final exam. Ironically I Also earned a B on my 3rd exam of the semester. Going into the final with 2 Bs and one F (still can't believe it was physically possible for me to perform so poorly), I had high hopes that if I dug my heels in and studied my a$$ off I would pull through. Surely right? I mean, I've seen so many students just barely make it through and I already had two good grades to take care of 2/3rds of the final exam, all I needed to worry about was doing well enough on one part.
Alas, I forgot, when has life Ever been that easy for me?
So after an intensely depressing 2 week "break" in which I spent every waking minute (not sleeping) figuring out my future...I decided to come back to Ross being the masochist that I am, to repeat semester 2. Part of this decision comes from the support I received from a family friend whose son also went to a foreign med school.
Although he himself was a protegy in India and works as a pediatric neurologist in Texas, his son was less than qualified to attend medical school. I think his experience with his son has made him more understanding of how many students struggle through this process. In any case, he told me to "keep my head high", go back to Ross, repeat, and don't look back...he told me something that I continually remind myself and will in the future: "that is how the medical profession is, only people in the profession can understand...sometimes you don't go forward, sometimes you go laterally, it happens to everyone at some point in time."
He basically meant, "You may have to repeat one semeter now, but others will encounter similar road blocks in the future, in residency, in practice, etc."
He also reminded me that while my parents have tried their best to support me through this process, they are in a different profession so they can't quite understand what I am going through. This made me feel a lot better because I have always relied heavily on my parents' and even my brother's experiences to make decisions about my own life.
Suddenly I see that I have chosen a completely unique path from theirs, and I will be figuring all of this out on my own. It's terrifying but I guess some one in the family has to lead the way in this profession right?
During this repeat semester, in which I have already performed well, earned 2 A's and one high B on my exams, I am realizing a few keys things: I need to stop being too hard on myself (this is the most deleterious aspect of my personality) and I need to stop comparing myself/my "path" if you will, to others.
Much easier said than done, but I have to try!
More later...
